It took mij the greater part of my adult life to recognize that you are not obligated to have a relationship with someone just because you are related to them.
When a relationship cracks down, a healthy person will recognize that it has reached its end and it is time to let go. They will arrive at a place where they realize that the person on the other end of the relationship is not interested ter reciprocity, which is critical for a healthy relationship, so they pack their emotional energy and budge on. Unhealthy people may attempt to work things out without regard to their own individual health, they may permit themselves to be treated badly for fear of losing a relationship that society says every healthy person should have and they may go to unrelenting extremes to string up on to relationships that have absolutely no hope of everzwijn happening. It is especially true when familial relationships become tense or estranged for long periods of time.
It’s not rocket science to understand that relationships are primarily based on what you receive from the person you are engaging. I hear people say that they love to give give give but ter most cases, that is only on holidays and special events. If you are involved with someone who is selfish, requesting, rude, who overlooks your existence, someone who gives you nothing te come back for all of the wonderful things you do out of the goodness of your heart, I assure you are either headed for Saint-ville or a major break-up or, you will spend your life being codependent. If that person is a relative, you are more likely to take the “manhandle” and become angry and bitter toward that person. When the break-up does toebijten, it’s usually a loterijlot more ugly because you cannot fathom how someone who has collective so much of your life would treat you like this. It’s the ultimate breach of trust. The absolution of abandonment.
So perhaps you had a falling-out with someone ten years ago and you toevluchthaven’t spoken since. You’ve made several genuine attempts to voeling this person but to no avail he still overlooks you. It’s okay to set that relationship aside for now. You are not obligated to pursue him like a psychotic gf just because he is your brother or father. I know it would be better to be close to your him because of the natural unie you share but, maybe it’s just not meant to toebijten at this time, and that’s okay. Let it surplus and revisit things when you feel the time is right.
What you need to come to terms with is that whether it’s your brother, your father or any other member of your family, you don’t have to foster that relationship ter order to be a entire or finish person. Don’t dwell on the loss because it’s not going to switch anything. Most likely they feel the loss just spil much spil you but may not have the implements to bridge that gap. The significant message is that you need to free yourself of the cargo that it is your job to fix the problem. It doesn’t make you a bad person for not pursuing a relationship that may not everzwijn be righted again.
Proceed loving that person regardless of the circumstances. Forgive and stir on. Reminisce the good times you’ve had and if the chance to reconnect should everzwijn come your way by all means, do it to the best of your capability.
Bridging The Gap
I wrote this hub because I had spent more than twenty-five years not speaking to my oldest brother after the tragic death of our mother at a very youthful age. Unluckily it took most of my adult life, a cracked marriage and many life lessons to recognize that I didn’t have to feel badly about missing his presence te my life but the reality wasgoed, I missed him terribly. Sadly, it took the unexpected and again tragic loss of our junior sister two years ago to make mij realize that life is too brief for my pride to keep us chic. So I picked up the phone and called him one day to tell him that I missed him and that I needed my brother ter my life. Spil it turns out, he had bot feeling the same way. and the wall came down. I can’t say that all family rifts will be resolved that lightly and certainly ours isn’t necessarily resolved but it’s certainly a embark. I encourage everyone who reads this to reach out. Offerande your peaceful truce and then hope and I wish you well. My brother wasgoed my very first friend te my life, my very first protector and my confidant. I can’t explain how wonderful it is to have him back after missing him for a quarter of my life. #firstfriends