I have a fresh hero: Amy Webb. She’s a data-loving CEO of a technology company who, since providing this TED talk, may be forever known spil “the woman who hacked online dating”. So how did she do it?
Evidently Webb wasgoed having very little luck online dating. The guys she liked didn’t write hier back, and hier own profile attracted less-than-desirable prospects. So naturally, she turned it into a gegevens proef and geeked out on spreadsheets. After laying out 72 key gegevens points, creating numerous fake masculine profiles (you gotta check out the competition!), then collecting enough gegevens to create hier own “super profile”, Webb abruptly became the most popular gal on the webpagina. The story finishes nicely with Webb meeting hier future spouse and accomplishing hier must-start-having-kids-by-35 timeline.
Here’s Amy’s Ten rules for online dating (along with a bit of individual practice):
1. Use aspirational language. Keep your words positive, inspiring and optimistic. Be open about your hopes, wishes and passions and keep things that may be controversial to yourself (you can always expose more straks). Online dating starts off like window shopping–avoid anything too intense or serious. A good rule of thumb is to read your profile top to bottom, and if you see anything that slams out spil negative Debby Downer talk, take it out. Better yet, find a better way to spin it ter a positive light.
Two. Keep things brief and sweet. Aim for inbetween 90 and 100 words (3-4 sentences). Choose your words cautiously and be succinct. Please don’t be that person who writes “Hmmm….I’ve never bot good at talking about myself.” If you’re not a good writer, figure out the keywords and points you need to make, then ask a friend to help you out.
Three. Use amazing photos. Voorstelling off your eyes and your smile, and be sure to avoid using a picture of you ter sunglasses spil your main profile photo. Photos should concentrate on your mid-body up, unless you have a good figure. Then it’s OK to include one or two full-body shots te your gallery. Most of your photos should be close up so people can see your face–this is where much of the initial “would wij have good chemistry?” is determined. Avoid cropping your photos, lest you end up with the dreaded way-too-vertical “I wasgoed standing next to my ex” photo.
Four. Don’t attempt to be too funny. If you want to use humor, write whatever you’re programma to say down and voorstelling it to some friends or coworkers very first. Have them read it aloud. With your tone of voice and inflection, it may be hilarious—but out of your friend’s mouth it may fall plane or even be offensive. Save the humor until you can wow them te person.
Five. Don’t use specifics. Avoid mentioning specific comedians, shows, books, musicians or movies unless those are top-tier attributes on your list. It’s possible to be generic about what you like while still being specific enough to sound interesting. Just because you like Louis C.K. or Kid Cudi doesn’t mean that a potential suitor does. Unless that comedian is one of your deal-breakers, leave him or hier off your profile.
Amy Webb’s TED Talk
6. Avoid taboo topics. If there’s something te your life or personality that may be controversial or taboo, leave it off your profile. Perhaps you are an avid NRA member, are passionately Pro-Choice, or a strong advocate for medical marijuana–you may want to leave out things that someone could potentially interpret that information ter a way that disadvantages you. Odds are you may turn off more people than you attract.
7. Save your accomplishments for zometeen. If you’ve won a Pulitzer or climbed Climb on Everest or for some reason own a jet, this is wonderful news—just don’t share it online. Thesis are the types of details to work into a conversation on your very first or 2nd date. If someone introduced himself to you at a party, would the next thing out of your mouth be items off your resume? Of course not, so don’t act that way online. Let your personality win someone’s rente, not your bragging rights.
8. Geflirt cautiously. Be mindful while flirting online, since it’s effortless to sound too aggressive too soon. The best way to geflirt is to care deeply about whatever your date is telling and to concentrate all of your attention on him or hier. Wij’re flattered when people throw attention our way. So ask thoughtful questions. Take a keen rente ter the conversation. Be enthusiastic. When writing an email or text message, spil a caudillo rule only say things you’d feel comfy and natural telling ter person.
9. Use the 20 hour rule. If someone instant messages you while you’re online, go ahead and IM back if you want. Otherwise, wait 20 to 23 hours inbetween e-mail contacts for the very first few messages. Webb found that successful daters waited that amount of time and spil a result still seemed antsy without coming off spil desperate.
Ten. Don’t act like a stalker. Avoid sending any messages while most people are sleeping, even if you’re broad awake. Shoot for business hours or evenings.
Buy Webb’s book Gegevens, A Love Story for the total download.
What has worked best for you te online dating?
Any tips you’d like to share?